So you’re expecting and don’t know what to expect?
For those of us who have been in the shoes of an expectant father for the first time, we understand that this is uncharted territory. We can’t tell “It’s all going to be ok” to help take away the nerves. However, I will offer the following 5 thoughts to help relieve the stress and concerns.
The top 5 initial you need to understand
- YOU WILL BE OK – I know this is the opposite of what I noted above. This is related to YOU specifically. Regardless of how stressed you are and the constant advice/feedback you get from family and friends, you will be ok. There isn’t another option.
- Family Pressure – In-Laws, Out-Laws, close friends…. All of these folks will have advice, needs, demands, and a will for involvement. Understand that this is normal. You know these people personally. Set your boundaries right away because, for at least the next 18 years, the stage will be set. Have the discussions ahead of time if needed. You and the individual you are having this child with will need to be on the same page, regardless of your situation.
- It’s not about you anymore – Don’t take this the wrong way. Your happiness and success as a father is extremely important. It’s technically the reason why I started this website in the first place. But, someone is watching. You might not recognize it at first. But 5, 7, or 10 years later you’ll see your child do something that makes you say “Oh damn, yep.. That’s me”…. You’ll know what I mean then. It happens to all of us.
- You’re going to be her b*tch when it’s go time – Every delivery is different. There isn’t a father that can tell you ahead of time what that day is going to be like. Take the time in advance to prepare well. If it goes smoothly and timely, good for you. Prepare for the worst, because she is going through more than you. Three days of labor pains and waking up after taking Ambien because of the pain, then suffering for a few more hours with nothing more than ice chips to eat… Or interrupting pumpkin hunting because “ITS TIME” followed by multiple trips to the hospital throughout the night with no results. Walking the halls of the hospital (and Walmart) at 3:00 AM to find out at 9:00 the next morning you’re all of the sudden going in for an emergency C-section. This is the worst feeling ever. But, he’s 10 now and it’s all good.
- Sleep when you can – Unless you are super lucky and get one of these newborns who sleep constantly, you will NOT sleep much. Help where you can and try to keep your head. It’s hard. The hard truth is, we’ve all been there and we’re glad we’re through it. But, there is a part of us that wishes we could do it again.
Concluding Thoughts for Fathers
After reading this, if you have questions or comments, please feel free to leave them below in the comment section. We are all here for you. Not all situations are the same, but we can all listen. Also, consider picking up one of the books below from Amazon. These will provide you a reference guide to give you the motivation to keep your head up as a constant reminder of what impact you can have. The certainly helped me through a couple of rough patches.
Are there any questions that bother you the most? Please leave a comment below.
Are you experiencing marriage trouble as a parent? Please read my article on divorce and children. https://djduckett.com/divorce-and-appreciating-a-childs-perspective/